I’m afraid of going on vacation with my kids who have special needs …
I’m afraid of going on vacation with my kids who have special needs …
But we are doing it anyway.
In a couple of weeks, we are taking the kids to Maryland for their spring break from school.
I’m afraid.
It is a 14 hour drive. Four kids, one old, plain Dodge Caravan that is starting to fall apart, and two parents who no doubt will be white knuckling it the whole trip.
A friend of my husband’s is giving us his house for a week on the ocean. Nice, right?
So why am I so afraid?
Vacationing with kids with special needs
Two of my daughters have Down syndrome. Polly doesn’t like loud noises. Evangeline struggles in restaurants. Both girls have aversions to certain food textures so eating out is tricky. Polly is a routine girl. If Evangeline is in a crowd too long, she will go into sensory overload which includes rocking violently back and forth, crying, and possibly hitting her head on any hard surface she can find.
Honestly? It’s much easier to just stay home; a place that is familiar to my girls. A place where the routine is down pat, their needs are met, and where I can attempt to control their surroundings.
But that’s no way to live
I have to fight the urge to keep my little girls close and box ourselves into a predictable little world.
Kennedy said ‘Conformity is the jailer of freedom and the enemy of growth.’
The only way for our family to enjoy outings and vacations and trips to restaurants is to well, do them. It’s not fun at first. It’s terribly difficult work. We go out to eat, and by the time everyone is putting on coats to leave I’m in an awful sweat. My hands are clammy, one of my four kids is probably crying while the other one is ticked about something inconsequential.
Ugh.
But we do it anyway.
Because all six of us: My husband Sergei, our daughter Elaina, Zoya, Polly, and Evangeline, and I all deserve full lives.
Not only do we deserve bigger, experienced lives, but it is the only way for us to grow, and to become better versions of ourselves.
Eventually, Evangeline will realize that restaurants aren’t scary places. I can buy some headphones for Polly to wear if we go someplace loud. If Evie gets overwhelmed I can take her outside for a walk to settle down. I can hold her in a tight embrace and point out all the things of the world we get to see by putting ourselves out there just a little bit.
Stepping out of our comfort zones is a good choice.
So we are going on vacation
So we go. We’ll pack up the car. Bring toys, games, and books for all the kids. Sergei will load his iPod with family favorite tunes, and I will take deep breaths, and ask God for safety, and light, and fun for all as we head into a new horizon.
This pep talk is helping me get into the right frame of mind … But I’m still not ready to talk about the 14 hour car ride.
Baby steps, right?
Have you gone on vacation with your kids with special needs? Any tips? I’m all ears.
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