Read two memoirs about disability and depression from Gillian Marchenko

Books

My first two books are memoirs.

Published in 2016 with InterVarsity Press

Still Life

“I stand on the edge of a cliff in my own bedroom.” Gillian Marchenko continues her description of depression: “I must keep still. Otherwise I will plunge to my death. ‘Please God, take this away,’ I pray when I can.” For Gillian, “dealing with depression” means learning to accept and treat it as a physical illness. In these pages she describes her journey through various therapies and medications to find a way to live with depression. She faces down the guilt of a wife and mother of four, two with special needs. How can she care for her family when she can’t even get out of bed? Her story is real and raw, not one of quick fixes. But hope remains as she discovers that living with depression is still life.

Editorial Reviews about Still Life, A Memoir

“Still Life is a remarkably authentic story of perseverance and faithfulness. Gillian Marchenko’s candor in sharing her experience with depression will be of great comfort to many who have bought into the falsehood that their suffering has resulted from a lack of faith. Gillian demonstrates how it is possible to faithfully fulfill God’s purpose in life while experiencing the effects of a chronic illness that made getting out of bed a nearly insurmountable challenge on all too many days. Her authenticity in sharing her experiences offers encouragement and true hope to many who identify with her story.” (Stephen Grcevich, founder and director of strategic initiatives, Key Ministry)

“In this intimate memoir, Gillian Marchenko exposes her deepest, most painful struggles with humor and grace. More than a story of acceptance, compassion and hope; this book is a celebration of life.” (Kelley Clink, author of A Different Kind of Same)

“Gillian Marchenko generously lets us know her and walk her journey, and in the process we grow to love her. You won’t find pat answers or bland reassurances here; you’ll find a real and courageous woman, a serious fight with mental illness and faith-fueled hope. If you live with depression or care about someone who does, you must read this book.” (Amy Simpson, author of Troubled Minds and Anxious)

“With unflinching honesty, Gillian Marchenko holds up a mirror to her own clinical depression and in doing so gives language and definition to something that often feels vague and dark. A must-read for anyone trying to understand their depressed spouse, friend, family member . . . or self.” (Addie Zierman, author of When We Were on Fire and Night Driving)

“If you’ve never struggled with depression but want to know what it’s like, Still Life paints an accurate picture. If you have lived on that fearful ledge called depression, you’ll find an ally in Gillian Marchenko. With heartfelt honesty, Marchenko describes life with double depression (Major Depressive Disorder and Dysthymia). In my dozen years as a licensed professional counselor, I’ve never read a more accurate book about depression and the toll it takes on the one who suffers, as well the impact on those closest to the sufferer. This book holds no cure, no magic wand, but it does extend hope.” (Lucille Zimmerman, LPC, author of Renewed: Finding Your Inner Happy in an Overwhelmed World)

“Life with depression is still life, which means beauty and dignity are still found even when not felt. Life with depression is also a still life, a straightforward painting depicting commonplace objects, something that causes us to stop, look and listen, and if we do, to possibly realize that this ordinary object is infused with the beauty of God. Marchenko’s book has been a still life for me, allowing me to stop and study the intricacies of a life with depression, and in doing so, to begin to see my own areas of darkness as places capable of framing a masterpiece.” (Beth Slevcove, author of Broken Hallelujahs)

Buy Still Life at InterVarsity Press, Amazon, Barnes and Noble, and bookstores across the country.

Published in 2013 with T. S. Poetry Press

Sun Shine Down

“Lifting my hand, I placed it on my breastbone and slid it towards my navel. My mid-section felt numb. Pushing down, it was as if I tapped another person’s toneless stomach. White gauze held my empty abdomen tight. I had been eight months pregnant.” *** What if? What if you dreamed of having a beautiful child and in your mind you saw the life you’d share with that child. First steps, little league (or ballet). Maybe the child would play piano or make you proud on the Honor Roll. There’d be eventual graduations, college, even marriage and grandchildren. You might dream it out that far. Or not. Every parent has hopes. No parents wish for pain—their own, or a child’s. Then you had a premature delivery in a foreign country. And the words swirling around you said a different kind of “what if.” What if something was wrong? The dream was at risk—or so it seemed. Would you be ready for that? Could you make peace? Or would it take you down? These are the questions author Gillian Marchenko faced as she woke up after an emergency C-section in Ukraine. Only her newborn child could answer them, in time. But first she had to find a way to hear more than the words “Down syndrome.”

Editorial Reviews about Sun Shine Down

“Stunning memoir. A must-read for parents of children with special needs, but anyone would do well to immerse themselves in Marchenko’s story.” (Suzanne Kamata, editor of the anthology Love You to Pieces: Creative Writers on Raising a Child with Special Needs)

“Shimmering beauty, powerful. Marchenko brought me to new levels of awareness regarding the struggles of a special needs family.” (Bill Giovannetti, author of Secrets to a Happy Life)

“Honest, real, raw — Sun Shine Down is a page-turner with an important message.” (Mary E. DeMuth, author of The Wall Around Your Heart)

“Incredibly moving, beautifully written. Captivates readers from the very beginning. Packed with authenticity and raw emotion, Marchenko invites us to witness her incredible journey in parenting a special needs child.” (Jenny Lee Sulpizio, author of Confessions of a Wonder Woman Wannabe)

“This book is as refreshing as it is bold. Strong new voice in a sea of mediocre non-fiction.”
(Kim de Blecourt, author of Until We All Come Home: A Harrowing Journey, a Mother’s Courage, a Race to Freedom)

“A heart-wrenching story of mothering through the unexpected—and the personal transformation that comes from parenting a child that is different than you planned.”
(Alexandra Kuykendall, author of The Artist’s Daughter: A Memoir)

“From the very first page, Marchenko tugs the heartstrings of anyone who has ever experienced—or wanted to experience—parenthood, leaving us with a broadened view of the universe and a deeper understanding of what it really means to love one another.” (Julie Cantrell, New York Times and USA Today bestselling author of Into the Free)

“Gillian Marchenko’s Sun Shine Down is a moving account of the birth of her third daughter, Polina. She describes her depression after Polly’s birth and her own difficulty in loving her child. Beautifully written, this memoir is hopeful without being glib.” (Susan Olasky, World magazine)

Find examples of my online writing and published pieces here.

Buy Sun Shine Down on Amazon and Barnes and Noble.