Gillian Marchenko

Do you ever stop to think about your opinion of God?

This is an important question to consider as we move towards health.

Most of us can list his attributes; omniscient, omnipresent, faithful, good, merciful, holy. But do you really think about him in these ways? Or do you, like I’ve been known to do, think about him mostly in relation to what’s happening in your life? A. W. Tozer once wrote “What comes into our minds when we think about God is the most important thing about us. Worship is as pure or base as the worshiper entertains high or low thoughts of God.” 

What view do you have of God today? Is it high or low? And from where does it come? From circumstance or scripture?

As someone with depression, it’s probably not surprising that I often have a low view of God. I get caught in the weeds of mental illness and stress and parenting and ministry. If I don’t make an effort to think about God, I inevitably start to:

1) Think of him less

2) and think less of him.

Can you relate?  

A few years ago I studied the book of Exodus with a group of women at church. The study proved pivotal. God showed me that much like Moses, I tend to focus more on my circumstances and less on him. Moses wasn’t a natural leader or an eloquent speaker, so when the Lord told him to petition Pharaoh for the freedom of the Israelites, he wasn’t on board. Why me, Lord? I’m not good at these things. How am I supposed to do this? I’m not strong enough. And who should I tell him sent me? 

And what was God’s response? 

“Then Moses said to God, “If I come to the people of Israel and say to them, ‘The God of your fathers has sent me to you,’ and they ask me, ‘What is his name?’ what shall I say to them?” God said to Moses, “I am who I am.”And he said, “Say this to the people of Israel: ‘I am has sent me to you.’” – Exodus 3:13-14

I am who I am. 

Trust me. I will be with you.

God side-stepped the details and brought Moses back to the main thing: his character. Not why or when or how but WHO. 

I knew the story of Moses and the plagues and the Israelites eventual emancipation well, and yet studying it again was cataclysmic for my faith. Because I had been caught up in the questions too. Why? How long? When will things change? But I did not often ask him the most important question: Lord, who do you say you are? 

When I came to scripture with the desire to know and love God above all else, my faith revived. As I read and study and grow in my view of the Lord, I see that I am growing. Time with him is vital to get to know him. They rhythms of bible reading, study, and prayer are not a check list, but a life-line in this broken world. Because God is good and sovereign and holy and loving and faithful. And I need those reminders all the time. When you read scripture, ask yourself what the passage tells you about God. Note his attributes. Praise Him for them. Pray them back to him. 

When I focus more on the attributes of God, my circumstances are no longer central in my life. I’m also encouraged to see myself growing and changing, being convicted and developing the fruit of the spirit. Going back to the character of God, trusting who he is, not what is happening today, is key. And it has been key in my journey towards health.

If you realize that you have a low view of God, consider Jesus; the way, the truth, and the life. Your trials most likely will still be there, but your focus makes a difference. Strive to see your life through God’s lens, and fight the habit of putting circumstances first.